You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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