we should wear snuggies to the strip club
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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