ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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