Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
