its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
