I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
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We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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