i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize