I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
