Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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