I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
