he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
