Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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