This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
