let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
