I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
