my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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