Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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