I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
