Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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