I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
