so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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