don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize