Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
