My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize