The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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