Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
