That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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