i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
