Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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