I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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