Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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