I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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