I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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