You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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