i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
