Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
