if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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