im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
nutella sex= disaster
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
