Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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