did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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