he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
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I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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