To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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