I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
