Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
