I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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