I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
