Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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