my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize