Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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