hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
they need to just BURY HIM!
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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