Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
