I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
