well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
