You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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