you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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