i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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