Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
