I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize