i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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