don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
