walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
