Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
