my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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