so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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