you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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