So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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