Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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