yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
