I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
OPIZZABONMYDICK
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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