do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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